Tracy Clifford: "My IVF story doesn't define me, but it is part of what I am"

"If it works out that we have family, great, but if it doesn’t then we will be very happy with our life as well," says 2FM broadcaster Tracy Clifford of her fertility journey with her fiancé, Mark.

"It took a while for us to get to that place, of being OK with whatever life brings, but we are there now. My IVF story doesn’t define me but it is part of what I am and so many people out there have a similar story. It was only after I told my own account, and my diagnosis with silent endometriosis, that I realised how many people were going through something similar. It’s a journey of so many ups and downs, so hard on you emotionally and physically, so tough on the relationship as well."

It’s a mucky morning in Donnybrook but Tracy Clifford, wrapped up in a full-length faux fur coat, is ready for whatever the day brings. I’d heard she was a good egg, fizzing with positivity, and so it proves.

"Is this where the Late Late Show guests hang out?" she asks of the room where we meet, before reflecting on her path so far through life. "There are things that happen, over which you have no control, but I’ve always tried to live in the moment."

It's not just talk either. For example, there’s Clifford’s career beginnings. In the late 1990s, some four months after starting an Arts degree at NUI Maynooth, Tracy knew the score. That January, in the wake of the exams, she pulled the plug, got a job working at Blanchardstown Shopping Centre and didn’t tell anyone: not her siblings, not her relations, not her parents.

"There were days working in the warehouse of that shop when I knew my Mum was walking past: the sound of her walk and her keys were so distinctive," she says. By the time she told her folks a month or so later, she had her Plan B – a media course in Ballyfermot College.

After graduation, she spun the dial from East Coast FM to Head of News on Dublin’s Spin 103.8 and then she co-presented a breakfast show to 2FM, where boss, Dan Healy, gave her a call and brought her on board.

Tracy Clifford likes to plan but also knows how the best-laid blueprints can be undone by life: it’s how you roll with the punches that matters. She grew up on the Navan Road on the northside of Dublin, the eldest of three: Stephen arriving seven years after her, followed later by Erin.

"My parents had me when they were very young so probably needed a break," she says and laughs. It was a home where news and music were woven into the daily. Her aunt in London, Catherine, would occasionally send her mixtapes from local pirate stations like KISS FM. Tracy was just eight or nine, but the die was cast.

Jason Donovan was her pop pin-up ("Did I watch Neighbours? That was my life!") but even more than music, it was current affairs that floated her boat and still does to a degree.

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Tracy and Mark live with their dog, a Golden Retriever called Harley, in their newish home in Crumlin. "We were supposed to get married in 2020, the first year of the pandemic, but we didn’t," she says. "So, we bought a house instead. We still haven’t got married but we will; it will happen."

Does Mark give her any feedback on her radio show? "All the time!" she says.

Like what? "He’ll probably kill me for saying this, but he can be very hard to impress. If he really loves something, you’ll know it. And the opposite too. The thing is we have very different music tastes. I would be into pop stuff and he’s into techno and hard rock, but I love him being honest with me. If he wasn’t honest, I don’t know what I’d do – I like knowing what’s what, getting everything out there."

"I figured why not talk about it?" she says of how her priorities had shifted. She subsequently posted on Instagram and spoke with Miriam O’Callaghan on her radio show: chronicling her years in the fertility trenches, the hope, the pain, the loss. The feedback from the public was phenomenal. "It was at times overwhelming," she says.

Women got in touch with her, but men too, wondering if their partners undergoing IVF treatment, also had endometriosis.

In Tracy’s case, an acupuncturist first suggested the possibility of endometriosis. Following that chat ("it was a holistic approach, and she knew my body"), she went to a specialist who confirmed the suspicion. "Stage 3 silent endometriosis," she says. "I never even knew that there was such a thing. But it was such a relief to know at last that there was a medical reason why the IVF wasn’t working. Here was the missing piece after so many years of trying."

It lifted a weight off her shoulders. "Naturally, you tend to blame yourself, wondering what is wrong with you or your partner. But I’ve since learned that one in 10 Irish women have endometriosis, which affects not only fertility but mental health and so much more."

For now, Tracy and Mark are taking a break from IVF. After that, who know? She says that if they go again and it works out, great, but if not, they are at peace with all eventualities. Her experience has also crystallised how much more support is needed for people who are trying to have a baby via IVF. Aside from the obvious emotional investment, there is also the financial cost of treatment, which can be prohibitive.

"One woman told me how she and her partner had spent over €50,000, which is a huge amount by any measure." Following her diagnosis with endometriosis, she has done some work with the Endometriosis Association of Ireland. "We need to talk about it more," she says, adding that March is Endometriosis Awareness Month and she will be doing her bit to promote the charity’s work.

"Am I busy?" says Clifford, whose radio show will also be previewing all the shortlisted acts in the run-in to the Vicar Street event. "I suppose I am, but I just love working in this world of pop music. And I think there is something brilliant in the ten years at 2FM, especially on a lunchtime music show, which is an especially tricky time of the day. Whatever happens after, I don’t care. I’m just so delighted to have made it this far."

And off she goes, wrapped up in her cosy coat, beaming with possibilities for the day, and life, ahead.

Endometriosis Awareness Month runs through March. Information on the Endometriosis Association of Ireland at endometriosis.ie.